If you're reading this, there's a good chance you can empathize with me. You understand how freaky it feels to have to say to someone who is about to kiss you, "Wait! What did you eat today? Is your mouth gluten-free?" The other person stops, lips mid-pucker, and begins to roll back through the day, trying to remember what the hell was consumed. Almost 100% of the time, the answer is (with a sigh), "I'll go brush." This is not fun. This is Freak City.
I wasn't dating when I was diagnosed with celiac disease nearly a year ago. Life was a little easier then. I only had to worry about myself. I just went home every day, scoured the counter top I shared with a non-celiac roommate, took my gluten-free food from my gluten-free side of the refrigerator, and cooked my bland, gluten-free supper. Oh sure, I had to get a new toaster and let my roommate know we could no longer share cookware and utensils, but I wasn't kissing her.
It is really awkward telling someone on a first date, "Hey, I have this weird thing called celiac disease, and if you're ever going to kiss me, you'll have to have a freshly scrubbed mouth and will have to slather on the gluten-free lip balm. Oh, and I'll give you a list of approved products you can choose from." This type of thing could potentially leave you without a second date for the rest of your life. I had a friend's husband once say to me, "You have celiac disease? Who the hell is ever going to want to date you?" Luckily I didn't let his comment scar me. Currently, I'm kissing a guy who is very tolerant and understanding. He brushes his teeth for me, a lot.
