Long time, no write

Well, it has been months since I started this blog. I have stories to tell about what has gone on in the interim, but before that, here's a quick catch-up:

If you read the first entry, you know that I have Celiac disease and live in the magical world of the gluten-free. For those of you who don't know, this is a genetic, auto-immune disease. If I eat any gluten (wheat, barley, rye, and even oats, due to heavy cross-contamination) my small intestine shuts down in an effort to protect my body. I can't process gluten, and therefore, my body doesn't process anything if gluten is present. I literally start starving. My system leaches the nutrients it needs from my muscles and bones. That right there is all I need to know, but as a reminder of what is happening to me, I get terrific pain, depression, arthritis, skin rashes, headaches, insomnia, etc. It's really fun stuff. If I don't completely eliminate gluten from my diet, I will likely develop another auto-immune disease or cancer of the small intestine. If those don't get me, I eventually will be done in by my brain and/or heart shutting down due to starvation. Needless to say, I am a fanatic about staying gluten-free.

What happened to me right after I wrote the first entry for this blog was that I got really sick again. I was a mess. I couldn't figure out what the hell was happening since I had not one crumb of gluten in my house. I was desperate. After paying $1000 out-of-pocket for some extensive testing, I found out I am allergic to a multitude of other foods such as eggs, almonds, peanuts, sesame, tomatoes, milk, and other tasty treats.

So here I am, five months later. I'm feeling much better. I stayed on a strict diet until a few weeks ago when my doctor told me to start reintroducing the allergens back into my diet. The effects weren't great, so I'm going to stay away from them. I will occasionally indulge in a tomato or some almond butter, but I know now what my body doesn't want, and I honor that.

People ask me how I can do it. "How can you not eat cake? Or bread? Or croissants?" I just look at them and say, "I don't miss any of it." And truly, most of the time, I don't. I just remember how I felt before I went gluten-free, and I never want to be in the same room as a glazed donut. I am fine. Celiac disease doesn't define me. It just makes me a little freaky.

Feeling Freaky

If you're reading this, there's a good chance you can empathize with me. You understand how freaky it feels to have to say to someone who is about to kiss you, "Wait! What did you eat today? Is your mouth gluten-free?" The other person stops, lips mid-pucker, and begins to roll back through the day, trying to remember what the hell was consumed. Almost 100% of the time, the answer is (with a sigh), "I'll go brush." This is not fun. This is Freak City.

I wasn't dating when I was diagnosed with celiac disease nearly a year ago. Life was a little easier then. I only had to worry about myself. I just went home every day, scoured the counter top I shared with a non-celiac roommate, took my gluten-free food from my gluten-free side of the refrigerator, and cooked my bland, gluten-free supper. Oh sure, I had to get a new toaster and let my roommate know we could no longer share cookware and utensils, but I wasn't kissing her.

It is really awkward telling someone on a first date, "Hey, I have this weird thing called celiac disease, and if you're ever going to kiss me, you'll have to have a freshly scrubbed mouth and will have to slather on the gluten-free lip balm. Oh, and I'll give you a list of approved products you can choose from." This type of thing could potentially leave you without a second date for the rest of your life. I had a friend's husband once say to me, "You have celiac disease? Who the hell is ever going to want to date you?" Luckily I didn't let his comment scar me. Currently, I'm kissing a guy who is very tolerant and understanding. He brushes his teeth for me, a lot.